The Diva Life in College

Yep. It's almost 4 a.m.
I took my good drugs too late today, so no sleep for this college diva.
I so desperately want to lay in my freshly washed sheets and take a snooze but....my mind is racing.

Not only is it racing because it's hopped up on drugs, but my life right now is CRAY-CRAY.

You think I'm kidding.

I have not only 1 major test this week but 2. Oh, and they're back to back.
I've been studying all weekend but there just comes a time when you just can't read another question about acoustics or frequency or inertia in the vocal tract. I mean, I just couldn't do it anymore.

Okay.
I sometimes get into these weird funks where I am so paranoid and I start freaking myself out about things I shouldn't even be worried about?
That sentence didn't make sense.

But, at this very point in time, I am sincerely worried about my family back in Pontotoc.
Like, worried as in I hope they are okay. And I hope they will be okay.
I just...worry. And stress and sometimes I feel like I could cry because I am so worried for them.
I wish I could put my emotions and worries into words.
That way, I could have an exact point of existence.
You know, the whole basis of my worry?
But, I can't.

My mom recently started a new job and she seems to love it.
MUCH better environment than where she was.
I've started associating change with bad(this is fairly recent-I blame MUW) so maybe my worry is my subconscious worry for my mom. With change, there will always be risk.
Simply because something new is unknown. And maybe I'm worried about the unknown.

My brother is a junior this year. And he got this drivers license a month ago. And he started driving. And he's trying to get a job at The Pig. And he's going to prom. With a real-life girl. Whom I've never met.
I am very protective of my baby brother. Admittedly too protective at times. But, that's a lot of change for this big sister.
But, my worry for him is nothing new.
I worry for him constantly.

Gracie Bug is growing up. That worries me a lot.
I know what the children said to me when I was her age and when I was in school.
Kids can be mean. And Gracie has seen that.
It's just that, Gracie will not listen to me.
She refuses to take advice from someone who has been exactly in her shoes.

And with all of this comes a whole slew of worries that happen daily in our house.
Something breaks...
Someone gets mad for something that was said...
Money...
School...
Homework...
Friends...

And then, I remember my own worries here in Columbus...
School, which is the reason I'm medicated and unable to sleep.
Money. Gosh, this one is the worst.
Grades.
My family back home.
My future. Big changes have happened in this department. (I'm gonna blog about it when I'm out of school)
My safety. Columbus can be super scary.
Clinic hours. oh em gee. I don't think I'll ever get out of there!
Projects. Projects. Projects.
My to-do list that seems to be never ending.
Dr.'s appointments. (hate these-huge worries)
And just the typical, everyday little things. They seem to really get to me.

I am thankful for the life I'm living. I really, truly am.
I am just having trouble seeing the "Big Picture".

caitlyn.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

WARNING! Kony2012 opinion.

Note: This is not my original post that I worked hours on... I have done some research and my views on it all have changed.

KONY 2012

I'm sure we are all WELL aware of the SURGE of #KONY2012 and #MAKEKONYFAMOUS posts all over the internet.
I discovered the video last night around 11:30 and my immediate response was:
"I'VE GOT TO HELP THESE PEOPLE!"

I took NO time to research the very thing that was tugging ever-so tightly on my heartstrings.
The only things I saw and heard were:
"Children. Uganda. Sex trafficking. KONY. Cute little blonde boy. Guns. LRA..."
and many other things.

In reality, I should have sat back, thought about what was just presented to me, process the information, DO RESEARCH, and then make my decision to support or not support the effort.

Nitty-gritty.
The truth of it all is, YES-things are happening in Uganda that are horrible and inhumane. But, the way this video portrays Uganda and Joseph Kony isn't the truth. In researching, I've found that Kony is no longer in Uganda. Some sources say Kony hasn't been in Uganda for 4-7 years now.
The LRA is still out there, but haven't been reported as active in several years in Uganda.
I still firmly believe Joseph Kony should pay for the terrible things he has done. But, the way the video talked about him, I was ready to jump on a plane and go kill him myself!

*In my opinion*, some parts of the video were embellished a tad to help make the facade of KONY2012 explode into what it has. Without the amazing graphics of the video, it would have been just another YouTube video.

But, there is one organization that I will openly and proudly support. And that is..
Amazima Ministries.
After being enlightened by KONY2012, I remembered someone telling me about a ministry group that was in Uganda and it was a girl around my age. She had dropped everything here in the U.S. to live in Uganda and become a mother to 13 daughters. You can read all about how you can help on her site.
I hope you join me in helping her!

Wrap-up
1.Kony should be punished.
2.Caitlyn needs to learn not to trust the internet.
3.Twitter can spread news like WILDFIRE.
4.Facebook isn't much different.
5.I'm not dissin' the KONY movement. I'm just stating what I've found after researching and listening to others who have educated themselves.
6.Educate yourselves. Explore this and see what YOU find and YOUR opinion on this.

A letter to my future self...

Dear Caitlyn,
Never repost a viral video unless you have researched it and you approve.
It makes you look dumb.
Love, Caitlyn

What are your thoughts?

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The many "firsts" of Caitlyn: 2011 Wrap UP!

Well, this year is almost over! CRAZY how time flies!

I wanted to do my wrap up blog BEFORE January 1st and this is the only time I could.

Close enough, eh?

Well, 2011 has been one for the books. It has had its fair share of events and one one hand, I'm glad to see it go, and on another, I'm sad to see it go.

So, lets start this trip, shall we!

January: I started the MEGA semester with 24 hours of classes and 3 jobs. Whew. It also snowed several times. School was cancelled for the entire week and we were all stranded in Fulton; gosh, I made some memories that week.

Almost breaking my neck sliding down the hill next to the Fine Arts building with Lyndsey and Erin and learning the Jai-Ho with Kelsie, Amber, and Leanna.

Gosh, I miss my ICC days! Life was SO much easier.

February: Nothing too significant to report. Ha.

March: Again, nothing too significant.

April: And the fun begins. The semester was almost over and things were wrapping up. April 27th was a really bad day for alot of people in North Mississippi. This is the day that the tornado hit Smithville, causing extensive damage to the town.
April 27th also just so happened to be the day I was diagnosed with Pseudo Tumor Cerebri. T'was a bad, bad day...

On April 28th, I was rolled into the operating room for the spinal tap from HELL. It was so bad, I remember telling my mama good-bye and begging sweet Jesus to bring me home. Truth.

But, I survived. It took me 10 days to recover to where I could function again.

Thankful doesn't even begin to describe.

May: I was so thankful the 24 hr semester was over. OOH! Words can't describe.

Lauren graduated from Ole Miss and I graduated from ICC on the same day!
I surprised her by coming to her graduation and she surprised me by coming to mine! It was a sweet day.

Summer was here and I was BEYOND ready!

And my good friend Ashley McGee(now Hendrix) got engaged! I will never forget that phone call!

Commence the weekly Dr.'s appointments...

June: VACATION TIME! Our annual family vacation to Gulf Shores was here and it was a blessing; something my whole family needed-especially Mama Noni.
Yes, I was the one that was the pin-cushion and all, but she had to be the support. Seeing that I don't have children of my own, I don't know the feeling but the way she describes it, it's a type of love only a mama can have for her children.
The kind of love that would do ANYTHING for her babies. I pray I'm that kind of mom when my time comes.

July: Oh, goodness. This time in my life was full of newness and learning. Lauren, the best, was applying for jobs and being the good friend I am, I went to interviews with her.
We had a fun time making memories while burning up the highway between Jackson, Pontotoc, Oxford and Horn Lake...

I am so thankful for that time.

I also signed my lease in Columbus thinking this I was doing the right thing by going to MUW.

Boy, was I wrong. Ha. I learned my lesson!

August: Out of the 12 months of this year, this month had the most change.
In August, I went on my very first date. Yes, I know what you're thinking. You're 20 and you're just now going on your first date? Yes. And it was great! I'm thankful my "first date" wasn't wasted on just some random Joe while I was in high school. Call me a loser. I'll own it.

I also started my first semester at MUW. NOTHING could have prepared for what I was about to encounter. Oh goodness. It was rough. It was the biggest slap in the face-EVER.

I also turned 21 this year! WHOOOO-HOOOOOO!
Im officially an adult. I can drink now. Yay.

September: I was still getting a beating from the SLP department. Haha. From attempting to wrap my brain around Phonetics to literally having no words to describe the hatred we were receiving from our teachers, I was seriously questioning my ability to do this. I left school crying every single day.

Let me just go off on a tanget for a second, but this semster I have heard NOTHING but negativity from my teachers. I have been told I needed to change my major because I wasn't smart enough. And that just pissed me off so, I worked my tail off just to prove to them I could do it. And I did.

October: Still taking a beating from school but by this point, I've made friends with a few girls in my class. I am SO thankful for these girls. They are the only reason I survived my first semester. TRUTH.

November: The semster from hell is almost over and school is about to kill us, literally. My life this semseter has been school and school alone. So, there's not really much to say.

December: Oh, yes. The time finally came for Christmas break . And words can't describe how ready I was to see it! Finals week consisted of literally NO sleep, LOTS of studying, and memories made with sweet friends. One of which moved away to Texas. Gonna miss her. :(

I went from finals straight home to prepare for the week ahead of me. I had surgery and then Christmas was here! What a break I've had! Nevertheless, I'm thankful.

Looking back on the year I've had, it has been one of life-lessons. And lots of them!

But, I'm thankful for another year and I'm looking forward to 2012!
Can't wait to see what it has in store!

I hope your year has been as much of a blessing as mine has!

Happy New Year!

peace and blessings.

caitlyn.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Obsessions: Part 1.

At this very second, my house is peacefully quiet.

There is a muffled ring of Egg Bowl in the background,
but I don't mind.
The aroma of freshly made Chex Mix fills the air.
Along with the crisp rain air.
It's pouring here. So peaceful, I could fall asleep.
The best feeling in the world is taking the worlds best bubble bath,
then climbing into your favorite pajamas.
And that is exactly what I have done.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
(repeat)

I just remembered the MOUNDS of work due next week and now my moment is over.
Piss.

Yay for school work. (insert crude remark here).

I have approximately 2 weeks of school left.
Then it's "Down-time December"!
LOTS going on for me in December.
BIG, BIG STUFF.

But before "Down-time December" can arrive,
I've gotta make it though finals.

Well, moving on to my actual blog...

Within the past month or so, I have become a YouTube expert.
I have viewed so many covers of
"Someone like you" by Adele, it's not even funny.
My YouTube obsession has become my stress relief. And I find myself (sometimes) wanting to be these people.

So, I stumbled upon this fantastic duo who together don't have a name
but are separately known as Emily Luther and Charlie Puth.
Y'all.
They are phenomenal. NO WORDS.
They are both students at Berklee School of Music in Boston.
Yeah, they are THAT good.

They entered the Perez Hilton cover contest of "Someone like You" and they won!
Here's the link to the amazing duet.

Didn't you love that?! I never get sick of watching his videos.
You can buy this song on iTunes. Along with lots of his original songs.
I'm already a fan.

That song=my heart.
So naturally when I heard them, I wanted MORE, and naturally, they gave the fans what they wanted....
Here's another phenomenal duet my Emily Luther and Charlie Puth...

I'm obsessed, I'll admit it.
I have a CD in my car with just Emily Luther and Charlie Puth on it.
I know every word on the CD.
Hater's gon' hate.

I have many other YouTube finds...
In each post, I'll share one! Starting a new thing!

Happy Saturday!

caitlyn.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

A Letter To My Younger Self

So, as I was sitting alone in my apartment this weekend, studying Phonetics and trying to understand the use of the Criciodarytnoid cartilage because I have this mega test Thursday that is a really big deal, I had an epiphany.
My life(to me) has been a crazy, topsy-turvy, unpredictable blob of circumstances. And boy, oh boy! I have a lot to say.

So, I decided to write A Letter To My Younger Self.

here we go.

Dear precious Caitlyn,

You are the tender age of 13. And very unsure of what is going on around you. You're not sure why mama is crying so much or why daddy isn't around like he used to be. Nanaw comes over a lot. And you have this sense that something isn't right.

You're very young, so, you aren't supposed to know exactly what is going on but, you certainly know that it's not good. You go to school and all you can think about is why is mama crying so much. And you worry what it's going to be like when you get home. But, you are a strong-willed, independent woman-just like your mother. It's just that neither of you know it yet.

"Divorce is a bad thing" is what you have heard your entire life. So, you keep telling yourself that it will never happen to your parents. But, sweet girl, sometimes bad things end up having a sweet ending. The divorce will teach you more than you can ever imagine. You will appreciate the lessons that you would not have learned otherwise. I look back on this and I think that it was a blessing. God knew exactly what He was doing.

You will be angry some. Okay, actually, most of the time. But, it's only because of the hurt you are experiencing. Mama can only be so much. And she is doing the best that she can, which is perfectly enough. And there are people there actually wanting to help you. You have a wonderful support system that only has the best for you in mind. Just, don't shut them down.

But, in everything that happens, be thankful. Be thankful for the opportunity to see this now and not 20 years later when you yourself is faced with divorce. Be thankful that you now know what you DO NOT want in a marriage. And what kind of men not to fall for. The life-lessons you will take from the divorce, you will never have another opportunity to learn.

You will go throughout high-school, and you are just dying to get out of there! You just know that college is SO much better. And you would be correct! Your first year of college will be the best ever. You will meet so many wonderful people, and you will sorta-kinda figure out who you are as a person. But, most importantly, you will learn not to be angry with God about the terrible time you had with your parents divorce. You very slowly begin to see His plan. But, you have only seen a small glimpse of what He has in store.

You will change your major 7 times. That's right-7. Bless you, you just can't figure it out. But, you finally do. The summer before your 3rd year at ICC(aka-the best place on earth), you decide on Speech Pathology. And at first, you were kinda skeptical about it (and you still are skeptical about it 2 years later) but, like always, this will turn out like it's supposed to.(I can't say how it does turn out because that part is still on-going.) The only thing I can rejoice in is that God knows EXACTLY what He is doing.

The life-lessons you have learned thus far will be of great use your last semester at ICC. You will become very sick and you will not know why. But YOU WILL NOT BE ANGRY AT GOD. I repeat: YOU WILL NOT BE ANGRY AT GOD. What you are going through is bad and painful and comes at a really really bad time. But, you need to know that it is all happening for a reason. You will be a better person for it. All of the pain and stress and anger and MESS will all be justified one day. Yes, it hurts. And no, it's not fair. Just, don't question why it is happening to you.
You will know in perfect time.

And last but certainly not least, finding a "man" is a HUGE deal to you. All of your friends have boyfriends and you are just awkward and unfortunate, but you are beautiful and one day, the perfect man will come into your life. And you will be SO thankful you didn't give those guys the time of day. He will be all of those ridiculous, charming, romantic things you have on that list of yours. He hasn't come along for me yet, but I know he is out there.

So, there are a lot of rough, emotional, unfortunate things that will happen in your life. But, there are more spectacular, joyful, wonderful, funny things that will happen, too.
Just wait and see.

One last thing... In everything you do, be thankful. Be thankful for the life you are blessed with. Be thankful for that job that you will hate some days but squall your eyes out when it's time to quit. Be thankful for the strong, independent, hilarious mother God has blessed you with. Be thankful for your health. Be thankful for the cold weather. And be thankful that you are alive.

I love you, very much.

Caitlyn.

Monday, October 17, 2011

True Life: I'm a college student.

Hey there!

Number one: I'm ready to be done with school. I'm SO over witchy *ehm* teachers.

Number two: my search for grad schools has begun. Goodness, I'm ready to be done. The only thing getting me through is the thought of what I will be doing and the pay check. Hey, that may be terrible, but I do love the finer things in life. But, in all seriousness, I am so blessed to have picked a profession that will allow me to better someone's quality of life.
I absolutely love Speech Pathology.
I've changed majors 7 times. This one feels right.

Number three: This weekend, I attended church here in Columbus. I went to First Baptist Columbus and I really liked it. It has been a long time since I've been to church so, walking in to a place where I've never been, not knowing anyone, and having not been to church in years, it was a bit daunting.... But, I really enjoyed it. The service was very contemporary and was what I needed. I'm going to the college and career class tomorrow night and I'm super nervous about it. But also super excited about it. I haven't met many people at all since I've started school, so hopefully maybe I'll make some friends.

Number four:Pinterest is my new obsession. If you don't have a Pinterest, I'd gladly invite you! Everyone should have one. Just send me your email address and I'll hook you up! I have a wedding board entitled "Best Day of my Life" for my future marital blowout, I have a shoe board entitled "I <3 cute shoes." because we allll know how much I love shoes, I have a future home board entitled "Swanky Home Ideas" so when that time does come, I'll know exactly what I want, I have a board that is titled "I NEED THIS!" and it's basically everything I see that my heart desires, I have a "Caitlyn's Crafty Crafts" which is exactly what the title says... Can I get my Masters Degree in Pinterest?!?!?! Heck, I'd be top of the class.
(We all see where my passion is, don't we? haha....)

Number five: As a few of you know, I will be going through some serious changes within the next few months. So, thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated as I move forward with my life.
You know, I could sit here and complain about how my life is terrible and question why I was cursed with PTC and all...but in reality, there is ALWAYS someone else who is worse off than you. Even in the worse of my sickness, the spinal tap that I thought was gonna kill me, the endless doctors appointments, the mounds of medicine I take daily,there was and IS someone else in the world who is worse off than me. And THAT is a very humbling thing to think.
I am so blessed.

Alright friends... I need to go study.

love.
caity.

The Diva Life in College

Friday, April 20, 2012

Cashmere for the ears.

Monday, March 26, 2012

4 a.m. worry-fest.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

WARNING! Kony2012 opinion.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The many "firsts" of Caitlyn: 2011 Wrap UP!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Obsessions: Part 1.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

A Letter To My Younger Self

Monday, October 17, 2011

True Life: I'm a college student.

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