4 a.m. worry-fest.

Yep. It's almost 4 a.m.
I took my good drugs too late today, so no sleep for this college diva.
I so desperately want to lay in my freshly washed sheets and take a snooze but....my mind is racing.

Not only is it racing because it's hopped up on drugs, but my life right now is CRAY-CRAY.

You think I'm kidding.

I have not only 1 major test this week but 2. Oh, and they're back to back.
I've been studying all weekend but there just comes a time when you just can't read another question about acoustics or frequency or inertia in the vocal tract. I mean, I just couldn't do it anymore.

Okay.
I sometimes get into these weird funks where I am so paranoid and I start freaking myself out about things I shouldn't even be worried about?
That sentence didn't make sense.

But, at this very point in time, I am sincerely worried about my family back in Pontotoc.
Like, worried as in I hope they are okay. And I hope they will be okay.
I just...worry. And stress and sometimes I feel like I could cry because I am so worried for them.
I wish I could put my emotions and worries into words.
That way, I could have an exact point of existence.
You know, the whole basis of my worry?
But, I can't.

My mom recently started a new job and she seems to love it.
MUCH better environment than where she was.
I've started associating change with bad(this is fairly recent-I blame MUW) so maybe my worry is my subconscious worry for my mom. With change, there will always be risk.
Simply because something new is unknown. And maybe I'm worried about the unknown.


My brother is a junior this year. And he got this drivers license a month ago. And he started driving. And he's trying to get a job at The Pig. And he's going to prom. With a real-life girl. Whom I've never met.
I am very protective of my baby brother. Admittedly too protective at times. But, that's a lot of change for this big sister.
But, my worry for him is nothing new.
I worry for him constantly.


Gracie Bug is growing up. That worries me a lot.
I know what the children said to me when I was her age and when I was in school.
Kids can be mean. And Gracie has seen that.
It's just that, Gracie will not listen to me.
She refuses to take advice from someone who has been exactly in her shoes.


And with all of this comes a whole slew of worries that happen daily in our house.
Something breaks...
Someone gets mad for something that was said...
Money...
School...
Homework...
Friends...

And then, I remember my own worries here in Columbus...
School, which is the reason I'm medicated and unable to sleep.
Money. Gosh, this one is the worst.
Grades.
My family back home.
My future. Big changes have happened in this department. (I'm gonna blog about it when I'm out of school)
My safety. Columbus can be super scary.
Clinic hours. oh em gee. I don't think I'll ever get out of there!
Projects. Projects. Projects.
My to-do list that seems to be never ending.
Dr.'s appointments. (hate these-huge worries)
And just the typical, everyday little things. They seem to really get to me.


I am thankful for the life I'm living. I really, truly am.
I am just having trouble seeing the "Big Picture".

caitlyn.

*WARNING!* Kony2012 opinion.

Note: This is not my original post that I worked hours on... I have done some research and my views on it all have changed.

KONY 2012

I'm sure we are all WELL aware of the SURGE of #KONY2012 and #MAKEKONYFAMOUS posts all over the internet.
I discovered the video last night around 11:30 and my immediate response was:
"I'VE GOT TO HELP THESE PEOPLE!"

I took NO time to research the very thing that was tugging ever-so tightly on my heartstrings.
The only things I saw and heard were:
"Children. Uganda. Sex trafficking. KONY. Cute little blonde boy. Guns. LRA..."
and many other things.

In reality, I should have sat back, thought about what was just presented to me, process the information, DO RESEARCH, and then make my decision to support or not support the effort.

Nitty-gritty.
The truth of it all is, YES-things are happening in Uganda that are horrible and inhumane. But, the way this video portrays Uganda and Joseph Kony isn't the truth. In researching, I've found that Kony is no longer in Uganda. Some sources say Kony hasn't been in Uganda for 4-7 years now.
The LRA is still out there, but haven't been reported as active in several years in Uganda.
I still firmly believe Joseph Kony should pay for the terrible things he has done. But, the way the video talked about him, I was ready to jump on a plane and go kill him myself!

*In my opinion*, some parts of the video were embellished a tad to help make the facade of KONY2012 explode into what it has. Without the amazing graphics of the video, it would have been just another YouTube video.

But, there is one organization that I will openly and proudly support. And that is..
Amazima Ministries.
After being enlightened by KONY2012, I remembered someone telling me about a ministry group that was in Uganda and it was a girl around my age. She had dropped everything here in the U.S. to live in Uganda and become a mother to 13 daughters. You can read all about how you can help on her site.
I hope you join me in helping her!

Wrap-up
1.Kony should be punished.
2.Caitlyn needs to learn not to trust the internet.
3.Twitter can spread news like WILDFIRE.
4.Facebook isn't much different.
5.I'm not dissin' the KONY movement. I'm just stating what I've found after researching and listening to others who have educated themselves.
6.Educate yourselves. Explore this and see what YOU find and YOUR opinion on this.


A letter to my future self...

Dear Caitlyn,
Never repost a viral video unless you have researched it and you approve.
It makes you look dumb.
Love, Caitlyn

What are your thoughts?